Somethings are meant to change...

Hello everyone,

I've been doing a bit of thinking recently as a couple of things have passed. (nothing big just regular life) Anyways, so my younger son has been crawling to his heart's content and trying to walk. He can do it by himself but only when he is holding someone's hand, I'm sure it's because he just feels reassured. Regardless of the fact, it is very interesting to see how your children grow daily. in fact I can take an example from both of my sons with countless stories.

For example, my six (6) year old boy; he's been learning to be a little more independent. We no longer have to constantly be on him and he is starting to get the hang of doing certain things before we have to remind him. Just watching him makes life interesting as he venture off into his own little adventures. I see his imagination run wild and it reminds me of myself as a child. People always thought I was awkward and annoying but all I ever did was want to have a little fun.

The most interesting thing though is his attitude towards things. When he was smaller, he always got upset when he learned he wasn't allowed to do something. ( he sometimes still does it) As he has gotten older, he has gotten a bit better at understanding why certain things can't be done now, or why he shouldn't touch the iron when it is turned on and most of that is cause of small things we learn along the way.

Keri Russel once said, "Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever." For instance... If you have ever seen the show, "How I Met Your Mother" you are well aware of when Barney met Nora and began having feelings for her. In the clip below, we see how easily Barney changes his mind on things, mostly due to the fact that he is perverted and well "loves" women (it's in quotations because I am using "love" very, very, very loosely.) but it is a simple example on a small change that ended up having a great impact.

Now that you have seen the clip, I'm going to explain what happens in the rest that is not shown in the clip. (*Note* Spoiler alert!!!!!) So as we saw Barney chose to break his rule of going on a second date with Nora because she is hot. Now mind you Barney ends up falling head over heels for Nora and even goes as far as staying n a diner waiting for her so that they can deepen their relationship. He made a conscious decision that began on the basis of STUPID and simpleminded reasoning, and yet that small change or "exception" lead to him being in a relationship that he never expected which then opened him up to being able to truly fall in love with someone else, *coughs*Robin*coughs* lol.

The small change opened up doors for something Barney had always said he would never do, like getting married, which he ended up marrying Robin leading to Ted finding his wife and tying the whole show together. (Like I said........ spoilers... ;) )

The same can be applied to our life (bare with me as I tie it in). Change doesn't have to be complicated, it doesn't even have to be extravagant. Its about setting possible mental goals. As people, we tend to set impossible goals that end up overwhelming us. We make "New Years" resolutions like losing weight, going to the Gym, and my favorite...... BEING A BETTER PERSON.

Mind you these goals are always to broad and seem impossible. I'll Break it down (all just examples).

1. Losing weight - Instead of saying I'm gonna lose weight and get back to my size 32 when you're a 40 seems a bit over drastic as opposed to saying I want to Lose 7 pounds every 2 months. Which if you look at it  over the course of one (1) year it is a total of 42 pounds... which is a lot. Imagine being 42 pounds lighter in a year. Its a small goal that seems possible and can achieve the highest satisfaction
2. Being a better person - WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN???????? People put to much emphasis on making sure they go to more church functions, helping the homeless, and yada yada yada. Just because you feed the homeless and help the needy doesn't really make you a better person. I say this because you can do all those things and look good in the public eye but still have a rotten soul. "To be a better person" (if we take it literally) means to work on oneself, and actually work through the crap that is you and changing you. The constant need to undermine people, or lack restraint or lash out. Changing those things makes you a better person, NOT JUST DOING THINGS IN THE OPEN.

I'm gonna skip the Gym time cause losing weight and that go kind of hand in hand....

Back to change, it isn't complicated, it just needs to be done. You are meant to change, life is meant to change, and even though we can't always control it we can help veer change so that it doesn't bite us in the butt and blindside us. Just like with our kids (if you have any) they will learn, they will change, but you can't over complicate it. they are learning just like you are. For those who are married, You are gonna need to change to fit your wife's needs as you both grow together, likewise so will she to fit yours. Yet, as I mentioned before, its the small decisions that will end up creating the most impact. If you change the little things to a big problem, you end up crumbling the big issues as you have taken it apart bit by bit until it is no longer there.

I leave you with this:

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. - Maya Angelou

Be blessed.

While everyone is asleep....

So I'm sitting here in bed while my wife and kids are in bed snoozing the night away, and it dawns on me... I can't go to sleep until I feel everyone including my dog is safe. My wife toss and turns, the dog is snoring and I feel at peace. The fact that I know they are safe is calming to me. So, I begin thinking about why that is and I come to this conclusion.

The fact that I feel so safe is because I didn't feel safe as a kid and want my family to be safe. It's when you as a parent say that you don't want your kids to go through the same thing you did. If there was ever a fact in life that was absolutely true other than the word of God it is this... We don't want our kids to go through anything that could cause them any harm. So I bring in this into question, when does protecting them go too far into overly sheltering them. If our kids don't experience some sort of "pain" (for lack of a better word) how will they learn to overcome. It's like it says in Isaiah 48:10 Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction. (Isaiah 48:10 NKJV) 

Now, affliction is nor doesn't have to be as extreme as the word itself sounds. Affliction (as defined by dictionary.com) is a state of pain, distress, or grief;misery. (Again not as horrible as you read it) pain can be as small as a tiny scratch on your finger to (well the extreme case of) falling from a ten foot story building and breaking every bone in your body and living. (Wow just thinking of it hurts) So affliction to a kid can be just being frustrated in not being able to remember something they wanted to tell you, or even you changing the dinner menu on them from Mac and cheese to spaghetti and meatballs.

Affliction, an amazing thing that breaks down the barriers of ignorance and foolishness. It polishes our very being, forms our persona, trains our thoughts, and lastly establishes who we are to become. To take the pains of failure and use that pain to form a better YOU or YOUR KID. For instance, many of you have your kids in some form of sports, and we can all say that as dads or as parents it's cool to watch your kid win. (Not to poke fun at those who play sports and don't keep score. Nothing wrong with "thanks for participating" lol) Yet on the flip side watching them lose is tough on you just as it is on them.

There's a bright side to it though. Losing makes you do better. You try harder to make sure you win next time. You stir up your resolve, and gather your wits about you and push yourself beyond your mental limitations to become better. So let it be known... There is nothing wrong with a little pain, a little suffering and a little hardship. We can't always protect those we love from danger, what we can do is to be prepared to get back up and keep going.

This up and coming generation is becoming desensitized to the reality of hardship. Having to be politically correct or tolerant or sensitive to that which society has deemed untouchable has created a huge margin for people having to sacrifice what's right and be under-developed in the reality that not everyone is going to cater to you whether you lose or whether treating you different because you feel different. (Run on sentence lol) in a team, everyone has to train, everyone has to do their best, NO ONE is excluded. In life, it's exactly the same way. Everyone has to do their best and get up and do what is necessary to triumph over their adversity. 

I end with this, everyone is special but no one is unique anymore. To be unique is to go against the grain, now a days everyone is trying to be unique that they ended up being like everyone else. Do what's right, not what's hip or in fashion etc. teach your kids the truth and stop trying to shelter them. 

I may not be the best but I try and this is just my belief. Have a blessed day

My life as a dad....

Hello everyone,

You know it's funny that I'm doing this. Blog name aside... I figured what I should finally do with this blog... Talk about my life. It doesn't matter what it is but if it's a part of my life (and as long as it's appropriate I'll talk about it). I've seen so many blogs about moms and how they deal with things but I've never seen one about dads or what men go through, so that's what I'm a do I guess. 

So my life as a dad is a good one. It has its struggles, it's frustrating moments, ups and downs, it's stresses; yet over all... It's wonderful. I have two boys, a beautiful wife and over all I have a family of my own. My oldest son is rambunctious, wild, creative, emotional, loving and kind; and let's not forget he has the biggest heart anyone could ever have.  

There is never a day that he sees me that he doesn't run up to me and give me a hug or if he sees the car pulling in he runs to the porch and yells "you're home!!!!" Despite how strict I am with him or how much I correct him he'll look at me and smile every time he sees me.

I also have a 10 month old. He's the cutest thing you'll ever see. Already his own little person. It's funny, I'll be with my oldest son and he comes crawling over not wanting to be left out of what daddy and big brother are doing. I'll walk into the room and get the biggest smile on his face as he tries to break away from mommy so that I can pick him up or he can crawl to where I am.

Lastly, there is my wife. While she may be upset with me or going through what she's going through, I know she loves me. She may not say it all the time, but I know. I can see it in her eyes. (Which by the way are the most beautiful brown eyes I have ever laid eyes on.) Her smile can light up even the darkest nights. Her embrace can calm even the greatest of storms. She's perfect despite the flaws she thinks she has.

Now it goes without saying, as a man I think I am never doing enough for my family. I always feel like I could be doing so much more, and I probably could; matter of fact, I try to everyday.  Not perfect, I definitely mess up, but it brings me joy to know that I have them. To quote the movie "Lilo and Stitch", "This is my family. I found it all on my own. It's little, and broken, but still good. Yeah - still good." My family has its quirks, in fact we may often times seem dysfunctional , but I wouldn't trade them in for the world.  We aren't big (well not yet) but we have a legacy of our own to build. They are mine, with room for expansion. 

So I end with this, my life as a dad is wonderful. My family is small, it may seem broken, we may seem like we are crazy, but I wouldn't trade them in for the world. We are just starting, and I think the journey is gonna be beautiful.